Triple ex-BK Jokes

for ex-Brahma Kumaris, to discuss matters related to their experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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fluffy bunny
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Triple ex-BK Jokes

Post by fluffy bunny » 31 Jan 2007

amaranthine wrote:FEUDALISM:
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM:
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM:
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP:
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

MILITARISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY:
The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

BRITISH DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

ANARCHY:
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shui is bad.

ENVIRONMENTALISM:
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

FEMINISM:
You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

TOTALITARIANISM:
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS:
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongering,intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

COUNTER CULTURE:
Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.

SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

JAPANESE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. You give the milk to gangsters so they don't ask any awkward questions about who you're giving the milk to.
Brahma Kumari-ism:
  • You pay for the cow and to feed it but God owns it and the BKs milk it. When you die the BKs get the cow but it is the end of the line because the cow is not allowed to have sex to have any calves.
Sorry, I could not resist it but thanks for the inspiration and for reminding me of that witicism.

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Post by fluffy bunny » 06 Feb 2007

This one if for Mr Green ... NOT FOR BKs OR PBKs!

********************************************

An ex-BK's Story - "My sister-in-charge's junior sister ..."

I was attending the BK center happily. My center-in-charge had been teaching Murli class to me for over a year, and so we decided that I should surrender and become married to Baba at Mount Abu.

The Senior Sisters helped us in every way, my new BKs friends encouraged me, and my sister-in-charge? She was an angelic dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was the junior BK sister.

My prospective BK sister was twenty years of age, wore tight saris, her hair loose and wet on Thursdays and very low cut blouse for BK. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear through the white silk. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day the junior sister called and asked me to come over to the center to help re-write some Murlis. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that even though I was soon to become a completely surrendered BK brother, she had feelings and desires for me, really bad Maya that she couldn't and did not really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I went to Madhuban and committed my life to Baba. I couldn't say a word.

She said, "I am going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she let the tail of her sari fall, looking just like Draupadi before the Kauravas ravaged her waiting for God, or me, save her ... I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door, stepped out of the center, and started walking straight towards my car. My future Zone-in-Charge was standing outside!

With tears in her eyes she hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better brother to look after our center-in-charge. Welcome to the Brahmin Family!"


And the moral of this story for ex-BK is: "Always keep your condoms in your car".

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Post by arjun » 06 Feb 2007

ex-l wrote:With tears in her eyes she hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better Brother to look after our center-in-charge. Welcome to the Brahmin Family!"
First of all congratulations to that ex-BK :D for passing the test :lol: , but for me, this is more of a shocking news :shock: :roll: than a joke. Do the wannabe surrendered BK brothers have to pass such tests to become a part of the Yagya?

I don't know if any such test took place during the times of Brahma Baba, but if any such test did not take place then, then who has given the rights to senior BK sisters to conduct such tests on innocent brothers :oops: ? Is it part of the BK teachers' training? :?:

Regards,
OGS,
Arjun

Note: By the way, the above post is too hot :evil: to be in the midst of cool jokes 8)
If this popcorn is too naughty to remain in this frypan, it could be shifted :arrow: to another frypan because many BK children or teenagers may also be tasting these popcorns. :D :lol: :D

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Post by proy » 08 Feb 2007

ex-l wrote:This one if for Mr Green ... NOT FOR BKs OR PBKs!
********************************************
An ex-BK's Story - "My Sister-in-charge's junior Sister ..."
There definitely should be a health warning on this one - even for us ex-BKs. I laughed so hard my wife called an ambulance, and when I told her why I was laughing she asked me a lot of questions about why I used to come home looking so exhausted after morning classes. Help! I am a happily married man with no health insurance. :P

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Post by bansy » 08 Feb 2007

And the moral of this story for ex-BK is: "Always keep your condoms in your car".
Yes, what a punchline. :P I can almost visualise that ex-BK's stunned and contorted face, the sort of goofy Mr Bean type.

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Post by fluffy bunny » 09 Feb 2007

ex-l wrote:An ex-BK's Story - "My Sister-in-charge's junior Sister ..."

I have been asked to qualify, or justify, the joke that I wrote above. I apologize for breaking the good cheer of this topic with something too racy.

BUT ...

Like the best of Jokes, or parables, it cuts with two edges and reveals more about the consciousness of the reader than the author.


Obviously, it is naughty. It is the adoption of a typically male, body-conscious joke. The "ex-BK" was not leaving the center to defend his or the sister's purity ... he was going to his car to get his condoms and indulge in vice. But an enlightened or Gyani soul ought to be able to look at and read anything and take benefit from it.

So ...

what does this mean from a Gyani or enlightened point of view?

Sri Sri Jagat Dada ex-l, 'Zone-in-charge' of the All & Everything forum, 'President of the Jokes' topic and 'Representative to the Ununited Nationless' wrote:The individual 'ex-BK' symbolizes the seeker of truth. In this story, the young sister is symbolic of the seductions and temptations place for the seeker at the BK Raja Yoga centers.

The seeker is attracted to the spirit path and comes about the BKWSU. THey are at the point of considering surrendering, giving over their mind to the organization, and are being slowly seduced by the immature attractions of the BKWSU; name and fame, glamor and the ego of "being someone"; a Yoga meditation teacher, a senior faculty member, a President, a representative to the United Nation. Faling back into a host of alluring attractions contrived by younger members but encouraged by the middle management, . the center-in-charges, to keep them busy ... and protect their position at the unreachable "top of the stairs". Note, the seeker never makes it to climb the stairs.

In the beginning the seeker, or the BK, is conscious of these as being lustful attractions and wrong.

But what happens, the true seekers goes to do the opposite of what they are told and leaves the organization. S/he goes outside of their center building ... their mental construction ... seemingly being prepared to go back to the body (the car) and what he was told is body-consciousness and vice. But in leaving, the seeker meets the true "zone-in-charge", God, who welcomes the seeker with a great love because the seeker has made the right decision. By following their own pure instinct, and not becoming party of the BKWSU games, the seeker has "passed the test".

You could chose God/the zone-in-charge to be one's own higher self if you are an ex-BK, or Virendra Dev Dixit and the PBK path if you are a PBK. I don't mind Like the best of parabols, it is universal and can be taken many way according the mind of the reader.


"Accha, sweet children ... so that is the Murli of ex-l ... now back to the filth and fury!"

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Post by fluffy bunny » 09 Feb 2007

Wild BKs

A cop pulls over a car load of BK Sisters.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 8, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! I was lost in Baba's Yaad. Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other BKs are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "Oh, we just got off Highway 108."

Decorating the center

The center-in-charge tells the two new surrendered BK sisters that they have to paint the center without getting any paint on their new saris, as they were bought out of Baba's Bandara. So the one Sister says to the other, "Hey, let's take our saris off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The BKs look at each other, then one sister says, "He's blind, he cannot see. What could it hurt." They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice underwear. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"

Pregnant Dadi

A brother is not feeling very well and he decides to go to a doctor. While he is waiting in the doctor's reception room, Dadi Janki comes out of the doctor's office. She looks very ashen, drawn and haggard.

The Bhai goes into the doctor's office and says to the doctor: "I just saw Dadi Janki leaving who looked absolutely terrible. I have never seen Dadi looking worse."

The doctor says: "I just told her that she has become pregnant through the power of Yoga."
The Bhai exclaims: "Oh my, is she?"

The doctor responds: "No, but it sure cured her hiccups."

Dharamraj

Four BK Sisters were standing in line at Judgement. Brahma Baba asks the first if she has ever broken Shrimat. "Well, once I looked at a brother's body," she said.
"Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter the Golden Age," Brahma Baba told her.
The Father of Humanity then asked the second BK Sister if she had ever broken Shrimat. "Well, once I touched a man's body," she replied.
"Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter the Golden Age," he said.
Just then the fourth sister pushed ahead of the third sister.
Brahma Baba asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?"
She said, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!".

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Post by arjun » 09 Feb 2007

Thanks to Admin. for accepting my humble request.
Regards,
OGS,
Arjun

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Post by sparkal » 10 Feb 2007

On the headstone of my grave, please put - "I told you I was karmateet"

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The Two Brothers

Post by proy » 10 Feb 2007

Two BK brothers were discussing Gyan.
The first brother asked, "What would you do if you knew that Destruction was definitely going to happen in fifteen minutes?"
The second brother said, "Well, to be honest, I would have sex with anything that moves while I have the chance. What would you do?"
The first brother replied, "I would stand perfectly still."

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Post by sparkal » 20 Feb 2007

LATEST HEADLINES- President has Big Mohini for lunch ...

Meanwhile in London: Queen has Dadi Janki for in beween meal snack ...

(Girls, if you are going to these places on service, mind and leave a note saying what time you will be back).

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Post by mr green » 20 Feb 2007

Heheheheeheheh to all.

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Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: It has been over a year that I left the center but still there is a lot of pain in my heart...pain caused by deception. I went in looking to come into grips with my own sense of self and came out with no faith at all. The experience was so bad at times that now I am clear there is no such a god. For that I am grateful. Yet, there were other moments that I would not change for the best of my experiences. I experienced love as I had never imagined! It was a beautiful experience of forbidden love.

Post by driedexbk » 11 Mar 2007

This note is for the administrator of this forum.


I just read this post about "triple ex-BK jokes" and it did not impress me very well. If I were a person whose intention was to find out in more details about the BKWSU, I would not take seriously what anyone was stating in this forum. Thus, please, look attentively to what is accepted as solemn for the purpose of this group. Jokes are not necesary ... they are rather undesirable and detrimental.

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1969

Post by alladin » 31 Mar 2007

If it's too vulgar, just erase it. A lokik friend said to me: 1969 Murlis: For adults only

And I say, not the right date to pack in the bag if a sister and bro go on a meant to be innocent weekend together. Be well mannered and take a 1970 instead.

Never mind, just the bad influence of kaliyuga media!

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Re: 1969

Post by abrahma kumar » 31 Mar 2007

alladin wrote:If it's too vulgar, just erase it. A lokik friend said to me:
1969 Murlis: For adults only
The vision of 1969 Avyakt Murlis on a BK Triple-Ex jokes thread is a eye catching. Why? And its influence on an innocent weekend? Coincidentally, on the Avyakt Murli front, 1970 is the that book that accompanies me to work everyday. Not read it for a while but why do not i go get it right now? ... So here i have it in my hand and opening it i see evidence of my study. strips of post it notes marking one point or another. is not it great how cyber is real.

In 1970 the BKs would have been looking forward to BapDadas arrival on the 2nd April. When that day arrived Avyakt BapDada spoke a Murli that the BKWSU titled: The sign of coming close is that the practise is easy and natural. What about betwixt them both, that bro and sister, ensured they had both them there books? Balance? Or a cop out? Are the 60's too hippyish? :lol:

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