I Just wanted to share something with you all. Ermine sent me another private message asking me if I had ever taken an anger management course or watercolour course. I just wanted to clarify that the reason for me posting his private messages on the forum was not because I was angry, on the contrary, I wanted to try and ascertain what his emails were trying to say. So i am sorry if it has upset you ermine or anyone else for that matter. That was not my intention at all.
Whilst we are on the topic of anger, I would like to share with everyone that with my involvement with the Brahma Kumaris since childhood, I was actually deprived from expressing my anger at all. Anger is an energy that one is clearly not allowed to express in this organisation or in a life of a BK, however, my therapist has clearly explained to me that anger is an energy that is vital for human survival as is the energy of love, peace etc. There is nothing wrong whatsoever with someone expressing their anger. My therapist also told me that no one, and I mean no one should be deprived from expressing their anger.
Whilst anger might come across as a negative energy, it is actually as important as the energy of love. Of course, this may be dependent on the way one expresses their anger but it is still a necessity in life.
In fact, my therapist was quite concerned that I was unable to express any anger at all. The therapist was concerned that if there was any anger, it was all being directed to myself. This made me realise how because of the suppression and rigidity etc that I was brought up with through the influence of the brahma kumaris organisation, because we were not allowed to express this energy along with many other energies, I was bottling up all my emotions and eventually this turned into anger being directed towards myself. I came to the awareness that one of the reasons why people harm themselves could be because they are directing all their anger, hatred etc to themselves instead of expressing it outwards.
Hence, this may explain what may have happened to the two Bk's who committed suicide some years ago. If one directs their anger only to themselves, then one may start to get suicidal thoughts and maybe even intention to commit suicide and then they may turn to actually committing suicide.
Believe you and me, I am talking from experience as I have recently gone through all these emotions of directing anger, etc only to myself and having suicidal thoughts. It has been quite an incredible journey for me to watch myself go through this experience, however, thanks to my therapist and one or two other people I hung on in there and I think I am finally coming out the other side. What a relief it is to want to live again, to want to enjoy life again, to start to love myself again, to be happy again etc. Looking at it from this perspective, I have come to the conclusion that actually anger can be quite a healthy option in some situations.
I still have a long way to go to developing the art of anger and to feeling even better, but with the grace of God, my therapist and a few others around me, I am sure I will reach to wherever it is I need to go to.
I have no interest whatsoever in being a BK/PBK or whatever other label one may wish to give to themselves, my only interest is to go into the essence of spirituality and to leave behind all the expansion and just be myself. I don't have any interest in joining any other group or organisation. I just want to be... :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
I hope this makes sense and maybe help others in the now or in the future.