What's pulling me away

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abrahma kumar
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Post by abrahma kumar » 01 May 2007

Was looking at the BK section of the Forum and noticed that there are 51 topics;
viewed 29133 times; replied to 699 times (ONLY). I do not have so much time else I would try filtering out the non-BKs replies so as to come up with a more accurate reckoning of BK participation. Quite eloquent statistics yes?

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An exiting sort of mood

Post by abrahma kumar » 03 May 2007

Being an effort-making BK posting on this site I sometimes find myself beset by a sort of melancholy (sobering thoughtfulness) that tends to hover around me for a little while before i feel able to snap out of it. Right now I am such a phase and were it the case that i had my record collection to hand I would create a soundscape of what these feelings are like by selecting this song as performed by Bobby Womack. The lyrics do not allude to BKWSU Godly Student life in any obvious way (except for me) but from the soulful manner in which Bobby sings the song one can vision a clear picture of Harry and Mary Hippie, down on their luck, while the world except for Bobby walks right on-by completely blind to the their existence. Is this how we are trained to be as BKs?

In this post I am exploring again the "what's pulling me away theme" and this time I can identify a growing disillusionment with the way that we BKs seem to 'be' as BKs. Yes, I admit that it is foolish of me to think that this website matters a jot in the scheme of things so my posting here is a matter of my business and i ought not to be looking out for or forward to any participation of my BKWSU brothers or sisters. But since in the main they are unable to share these experiences with us in-house are they really family?

Recently I have come to know that there are some 'thinking' BKs in the organisation. BKs that visit this site - and it is a joy to meet and share with them even though they remain ignorant of just who I am - but I am afraid that we are far too outnumbered for our spur of the moment chit-chats to be anything more than stiffled howls at the moon! Consequently the day after our chats we find ourselves sat again in class listening to the Murli and all the BKWSU oblox. It sucks. So part of my Godly Student Life i dedicate to this place as a God-loving soul. A love for God that the BKWSU DID NOT implant within me!

And you know what? I do not want any children/young adults that I know of to be exposed to this BKWSU nonsense anymore! The adults can do just what the hell they like but children ought to be spared from having their mind's twassed-up in the way that we KNOW some of the BKWSU teachings do! ... And I have a clear idea about which children are gonna be taken off of that BKWSU pyre of God only knows what first!

Therefore if God knows that there is a way to stay inside and get some of the concerns raised on this site heard AND resolved then I sure will co-operate, otherwise I will remain "Abrahma, the cyberspace BK" and I will write to my hearts content. As BM sang: "I and I no come to fight flesh and blood but spiritual wickedness in high and low places, ay ay". I quote those words not from a standpoint of moral superiority or greater wisdom than anyone (there are many many BKs more pukka than I and/or are more qualified on the basis of compliance with Shrimat and all the other BK oblox than I will ever be; and i respect them for that but I do not feel inferior to them.) But where are they? How can i take a BK public service platform knowing that as my BK-colleagues smile with me and congratulate me as a 'good Baba's instrument' they themselves are primarily concerned about themselves and the advancement of the Mothership BKWSU.

So if you meet me on the street and ask, "AbeK, what's pulling you away? I will answer emphatically: "Love for the children".

OS

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Post by abrahma kumar » 19 May 2007

Read Jannisder and Di's thread and you will see what's pulling me away. At times of weakness a great upsurge of anger wells up in me upon being presented with the possibility that the BKWSU is such a corrupt place! There seems not an ounce of humanity with that organisation. God knows I have had my own troubles as a student; my own difficulties due falling short of the very high ideals of BK life. But that has been my drama and I am learning to accept it.

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Re: An exiting sort of mood

Post by paulkershaw » 21 May 2007

abrahma Kumar wrote:I ought not to be looking out for or forward to any participation of my BKWSU Brothers or Sisters. But since in the main they are unable to share these experiences with us in-house are they really family?
We are all family, I feel in more ways than we sometimes realize!
Recently I have come to know that there are some 'thinking' BKs in the organisation. BKs that visit this site - and it is a joy to meet and share with them even though they remain ignorant of just who I am - but I am afraid that we are far too outnumbered for our spur of the moment chit-chats to be anything more than stiffled howls at the moon!
I once heard that it’s quality that counts – not quantity! But just count us anyway ...
It sucks. So part of my Godly Student Life I dedicate to this place as a God-loving soul. A love for God that the BKWSU DID NOT implant within me!
And can’t take away from you either by the way ...
Therefore if God knows that there is a way to stay inside and get some of the concerns raised on this site heard AND resolved then I sure will co-operate, otherwise I will remain "Abrahma, the cyberspace BK" and I will write to my hearts content.
That’s the beauty of the forum AbeK! We’re all part of something truly huge indeed, so write until your heart is content OK?
So if you meet me on the street and ask, "AbeK, what's pulling you away? I will answer emphatically: "Love for the children".
Re-reading your post Abek, I’d like to add another thought to this if I may: Another thing that may just be pulling you away is "Love for Yourself" too ... Enjoy the process ... its a big journey if you allow it as such.
Respect -- xx P

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Re: An exiting sort of mood

Post by fluffy bunny » 21 May 2007

abrahma Kumar wrote:Recently I have come to know that there are some 'thinking' BKs in the organisation. BKs that visit this site - and it is a joy to meet and share with them even though they remain ignorant of just who I am ...
a) keep undercover or else they will probably banish you!

b) encourage the thinking BKs over this way please. We need them as much as they need us.

The leadership has to get over its denial about what is going on here. Some big name Alpha BK has to come out and grasp our nettle sooner or later.

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Allah Alladin

Post by abrahma kumar » 29 May 2007

Nice Amrit Vela experience. That's whats making me stay. But in a different guise! Om Shanti. Thanks Baba

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What's pulling me away ...

Post by abrahma kumar » 04 Jun 2007

My exiting process is gradual and as it unfolds l have the "mixed blessing" of being in contact with the BKWSU world. Why a "mixed blessing"? On the whole, contact with Gyani souls IS beneficial; but the more I begin to find my feet as an 'exiter' the more I am able to identify (with great irritation) various BKWSU institutional characteristics. repulsive; ans at others these off-putting issues are embodied in the behaviour that senior BKWSU personalities exhibit in an unabashed manner! And while this happens right before my eyes I see the rest of the class cheering enthisiastically. Am i being pulled away into a lonely place from a position within the greatest family?

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Re: What's pulling me away ...

Post by joel » 04 Jun 2007

abrahma Kumar wrote:My exiting process is gradual and as it unfolds l have the "mixed blessing" of being in contact with the BKWSU world. Why a "mixed blessing"? On the whole, contact with Gyani souls IS beneficial; but the more I begin to find my feet as an 'exiter' the more I am able to identify (with great irritation) various BKWSU institutional characteristics. repulsive; ans at others these off-putting issues are embodied in the behaviour that senior BKWSU personalities exhibit in an unabashed manner! And while this happens right before my eyes I see the rest of the class cheering enthisiastically. Am I being pulled away into a lonely place from a position within the greatest family?
The kinds of experiences you are having now are not unique in the history of the Yagya. It is revealing how much time in the Murlis Baba devotes to those 'who are no longer here.' Somehow a 'battle for souls' . The Christians offer similar: eternal reward in return for being an adherent at present. The economic power of the church is undeniable, especially if we include the Scientolgists, which I mispell so their damn terminator search engines won't be hacking my idenity into terrorist databases or enemies lists.

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Re: What's pulling me away ...

Post by abrahma kumar » 04 Jun 2007

Thanks Joel. I agree. This is what i meant to type; I must have been half-awake when i typed the earlier version. Apologies.
abrahma Kumar wrote:My exiting process is gradual and as it unfolds l have the "mixed blessing" of being in contact with the BKWSU world. Why a "mixed blessing"? On the whole, contact with Gyani souls IS beneficial; but the more I begin to find my feet as an 'exiter' the more I am able to identify (with great irritation) various repulsive BKWSU institutional characteristics. Some of these issues are embodied in the behaviour that senior BKWSU personalities exhibit in an unabashed manner! And while this happens right before my eyes I see the rest of the class cheering enthisiastically. Am I being pulled away into a lonely place from a position within the greatest family? The experience od being in the gathering often has a feel of the story of the emperor's new clothes and other variations on the theme

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Post by alladin » 04 Jun 2007

Hi, abek, please don't define yours as a "lonely place", rather see it as independent. In any case, the hermit, sannyas sanskars have to be created at some stage, even within the BK "family". Enjoy, and we all the forum friends, now!!

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Only as lonely as an Exiter chooses to feel

Post by abrahma kumar » 05 Jun 2007

alladin wrote:Hi, abek, please don't define yours as a "lonely place", rather see it as independent. In any case, the hermit, sannyas sanskars have to be created at some stage, even within the BK "family". Enjoy, and we all the forum friends, now!!

Thanks for the feedback Alladin. Alas I must confess that the sannyas sanskars have been part of me even whilst I was basking in the glory of my halcyon Gyani student days. I do not mean sannyas in the sense of wanting a recluse life but rather in the sense of maintaining a silence. A sort of inpenetrable introversion that I allowed no-one to enter; and being around some BKs nowadays heightens that feeling of being of "another kind".

A few moments ago i was wondering whether I was destined NEVER EVER to last the BKWSU prescribed course. And if so, what to make of that, curse or a blessing?

Right now my guess is that this sort of questioning can either be empowering or destructive. But over time can it prove to be both? If it is one's part to be an "exiter" then what's all the fuss about?

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Re: An exiting sort of mood

Post by abrahma kumar » 05 Jun 2007

ex-l wrote: a) keep undercover or else they will probably banish you!

b) encourage the thinking BKs over this way please. We need them as much as they need us.

The leadership has to get over its denial about what is going on here. Some big name Alpha BK has to come out and grasp our nettle sooner or later.
Yes ex-l, banish me they will indeed do. The more evidence i see that this IS going to be my fate, the more determined I become to really grow into the 'skin of an exiter'. To fill-it-out with the consciousness of a soul that is wide awake.

The BKWSUs primary leverage against us is to deny us access to the Murli, however the world is watching. Maybe a day will come when the organisation's reputation will be such that they will not be even able to give the thing away (i was always a foolish dreamer!). So in the meantime I adapt the strategy suggested by ex-l. But before going "deep, deep undercover!" (as Eddie Murphy was heard to utter in one of his hit movies). I remind myself of a few words in a song presented to the world by my idren who laid every ounce of his soul on the line so that in our darkest days we could yet still feel uplifted.

So Bob, take it away.

P.S. The few words that I reminded myself of as being relevant to this my today's exiting mood are:
Men and people will fight ya down (tell me why!)
When ya see Jah light. (ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!)
Let me tell you if youre not wrong; (then, why? )
Everything is all right.
So we gonna walk - all right!
We the generation (tell me why!)
(trod through great tribulation) trod through great tribulation
Exodus, all right! movement of Jah people!
Oh, yeah! o-oo, yeah! all right!
Exodus: movement of Jah people! oh, yeah!

Yeah-yeah-yeah, well!
Uh! open your eyes and look within:
Are you satisfied (with the life you're living)? uh!
So I guess that to banish someone who is already on the way out is truly laughable, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I'll be gone till November! So take care all. Maybe I wake up when "some big name Alpha BK comes out sooner or laterand grasps the nettle". Oh and apologies for the few mis-spellings here and there! ... And just realised that yesterday marked 6 months since my first post in this place. It has been a wonderful experience and I hope that you too enjoy yourself as much as I have done.

Peace
abek

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Re: An exiting sort of mood

Post by joel » 05 Jun 2007

abrahma Kumar wrote:I'll be gone till November! So take care all. [...] And just realised that yesterday marked 6 months since my first post in this place. It has been a wonderful experience and I hope that you too enjoy yourself as much as I have done.
All the best to you. Those ex-BKs who are in relationships and have had children can tell you that many of those things you feared can be unimaginably loving and nourishing, if not always easy. Now, while we live, it is a good time to be human. Angels, of course, do not need or seek the reassurance of a smiling attentive and loving face, or the preverbal comfort of skin-to-skin contact.

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Why 'gone till november' abek?

Post by abrahma kumar » 09 Jun 2007

So I guess that to banish someone who is already on the way out is truly laughable, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I'll be gone till November!
Apologies for appearing to "cry wolf" so to speak with that "I'll be gone till November" statement - because here i am. That post was one in which i "journeyed" through some psychological and emotional 'traumas' connected with an experience that highlighted just how manipulative the BKWSU is when it comes to the Murli.

When one sees first-hand how some of its students uphold "Murli control" (as though they are agents of the BKWSU and not fellow Godly students), the feeling of being 'cut-off' stabs like a knife. And so by the end of my sharing I wanted to immerse myself for a while in rhythms of protest! That phrase from the Wyclef Jean song of the same name felt like it fit the bill as a sort of rallying battle cry. And on a more subtle note I realised that it was a post that marked a kind of watershed for me here on the forum. OS
(I am still around)

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BKWSU Major Historical re-writes pulling me away

Post by abrahma kumar » 08 Jul 2007

As I read and process some of the information available from this site I grow more assured in my reading my drama. My days of regarding myself as a BKWSU student are over.

Confession: maybe as a form of ritual Bhakti, I tie a powerful raakhi this year. A raakhi of staying under the canopy of protection of whatever spook I have grown habituated to linking my intellect's Yoga with whenever I meditate. But no more BK oblox in my life.

Question: What was the BKWSU battle plan when they came West? How has the BKWSU "double foreign campaign" changed over the years?

Was reading a Murli from the 03/04/2006 today. As is my wont, sometimes after reading the essence, I allow the mind to go into a sort of freefall. In the process, some thoughts stick and I start to churn on those for a while. Then when I return to to reading the Murli I would find some of the churned thoughts and/or images cited in the Murli.

Today's freefall experience?: What it would it be like if I stripped out all the "Hindu Bhakti" references from the Murli and then read it? Would my relationship with the being that they claim to channel be changed for better or for worse by stripping out the Bhakti?

Not only striping out the Bhakti but also perhaps anything else which the BKWSU couild have inserted in an attempt to give the document, and so itself, anchors and tentacles in a world beyond that of the initial target group. Anyway, as I continued to read the Murli I eventually saw written the folowing:
"...You children now have a responsibility. You can also explain the pictures. There are many languages. The pictures have to be created in the main languages. There is also great complication over languages and this is why an exhibition has to be created. It is very easy to explain using pictures. All the knowledge is included in The Cycle. the Ladder is just for the people of Bharat. There are no other religions in that.
In the same Murli it was also written:
"...There cannot be knowledge in the middle of devotion. Devotion is for everyone and knowledge is also for everyone."
So, since Baba said that "knowledge is for everyone", I ask the BKWSU Seniors to show us that they follow Baba's Shrimat by making the Murli publicly available via some sort of download system on the internet. Oh, and we would like the original versions of God's words please. Yes, that would be justice, because we know that you have majorily re-written your history including the Murli.

Thanks

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