I just thought I'd offer an alternative perspective to some of the other comments. But of course, follow your own heart. Don't listen to any of us!
bluesky wrote:... you need to sacrifice and surrender, so that you only act according to their directions. You have to surrender your intellect, body, mind, wealth, practically everything. You have to be a person with no reasoning and thinking. You are just obedient to everything.
I have never found this to be the case. The surrender and obedience and sacrifice is to high principles, truth and God. It is never to a human being. Some people may want you to surrender to them, but you just don't go there. Keep to your own truth, follow the path (if you want to) which is a pretty simple path really. A lot of the things that get discussed on this forum I feel are so far away from the essence of the BK Raja Yoga path, I am amazed. While you might have dreadful experiences with people in positions of leadership, for your own happiness, don't paint everything with the same brush. Don't dismiss a philosophy you love (if you do) because of some bad experiences (and I don't mean to belittle them - I know they can be seriously heart-breaking) But that's why I go back to the Trimurti - God, me and silence. That's it. I think ex-l called it auto-hypnosis. So be it. If it brings me peace and makes me good, I'll do it. I don't care what you call it.
But also, as was previously said, don't feel forced or guilted into anything. Do what you need to do for your own happiness and peace of mind.
But if you’re a independent person who questions things and hate to be controlled and manipulated, and prefer freedom, then you have to re-evaluate your life.
It's true. Definitely don't do anything where you feel controlled and manipulated. At times when I have come up against difficulties with relationships on this path (this is waaaaaaaaay in the past mind you but I do remember very well) I was very straight and direct with her. I told her directly how I felt and what I would no longer accept from her. She was surprised, but so surprised that she took it on board. I don't think she had realised what she'd been doing. She slipped up a couple of times, and I reminded her and she's changed remarkably since then. She's just a person too. Getting along with her spiritual life and working on changing herself, which is a pretty intricate process. You're somewhere in that process, and probably at a point of great change. The real difficulties, in my experience, often precede some great shift.
Keep on, keep being gentle with yourself, speak to yourself kindly and lovingly and give your mind and heart space.
With love and peace