Time for healing

for concern over cult-related damage, institutional abuse & psychological problems.
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joel
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Time for healing

Post by joel » 24 May 2006

A very pertinent subject that I think will enrich all of our discussions here at BrahmaKumaris.Info.

I'd like to inaugurate this forum by requesting membership approval for a frequent poster at ex-BK Chat with much to contribute on family-related issues as well as the Abuse, Trauma and Recovery subject matter of this forum.

And to provide some content, I'd like to include a link to a video of a sensitive man being assertive and strong without being aggressive in the least.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Sd7TcVH670

Many of us feel we need to be aggressive, forceful to be strong. To prevent ourselves from being ignored, overwhelmed, stamped out. A sort of violent reaction to traumatizing experiences of violent aggressivess in others; we cannot imagine an unforced way to express ourselves.

Which is why this video is a quite valuable example. I respect the man now, although frankly I wasn't much interested in the message of his shows as a child. I definitely preferred watching animated characters hit each other on the head.

Respectfully,

Joel

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zhukov
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Post by zhukov » 25 May 2006

Great idea for a new topic, joel :)

Something that I see as a fundamental fault of "The BK Knowledge" as it stands.

I remember when I first was told not to come back to the BKs I felt both relief and a certain ambivalence towards them, thinking that something was wrong with me for not successfully imbibing the knowledge & believing (which was before I came across xbkchat and realised I was indeed sane, LOL).

But there was definite anger I had there for a while towards one BK in particular who refused to stop constant & unrelenting proselytising, despite my desperate pleas that he wasn't helping in my futile attempts to "get the never-ending supersensuous bliss that comes from Baba" which he would not shut up about :P

It took time for me to realise that he just couldn't help himself; as he was full of so much burning desire to "preach the word" and was in fact affected by a previously known but since unacknowledged problem with mania which he denied after entering the BK "family"...

Does anyone think that the BK Dogma[tm] can be a handy tool for avoiding looking at the truth about any "negative" aspects in ourselves which really must be faced without judgement in order to let go of suffering etc? ] (i.e. being simply mindful; with no judging of thoughts/feelings so no categorising into good/bad/negative/positive).

Dwelling on anything that is not POSITIVE will only bring down your 'stage' according to the BKs :?

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howiemac
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Post by howiemac » 25 May 2006

zhukov wrote:Does anyone think that the BK Dogma[tm] can be a handy tool for avoiding looking at the truth about any "negative" aspects in ourselves?
I agree - we have to face our negative aspects - meet them head on and see them for what they are - face them fair and square with courage - before we can truly conquer them. The BK attitude of "turning away" just leaves the negativity festering away, and at some point when they are off guard it will jump out and grab them ...

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zhukov
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Post by zhukov » 26 May 2006

^^ I couldn't agree more. And when that crunch comes ... not even BABA will save you from your repressed emotions :roll:

jim
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Post by jim » 30 May 2006

I have just watched that video link posted by Joel. Excellent.
Zhukov wrote:It took time for me to realise that he just couldn't help himself; as he was full of so much burning desire to "preach the word"
It is the characteristic of many religions to preach and attempt to convert. If you buy into brahmin philosophy, brahmins are the seed/root of the human family tree - and so the seed/roots of all religions are present.

Knowing it doesn't make bearing it much easier though.

Regarding BKs turning away from looking at themselves - for the 1st 3 or 4 years as a BK I thought the Seniors had got it cracked; not far off perfect. And Sister Jayanti used to say how the Dadis were more or less karmateet. I thought I just did not understand the knowledge and with time I too would become like them. Maybe that sort of confused hope/devotion stops people really looking at their own issues.

Jim

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bro neo
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Post by bro neo » 30 Apr 2007

My favorite perspective on anger is that it is a desperate cry for love. The angry lion rages at the wildebeest so he can love his belly. A country goes to war with another country when their demands are not met. I get angry at the world because it doesn't give me enough of what I want, when I want it.

Assertiveness has been called the right use of anger. I would say the opposite of assertiveness on a negative scale is repression. Repression is well know to be the cause of, or at least a prime factor in tons of physical and mental health problems, from influenza to stroke and addictions to depression.

It has been such a great thing for me to develop more positive assertiveness about who I am. Of course, having the balance of receptive energys is all important to.

When I first went into Gyan, I was a very hard core 12 stepper (in 12 step therapy groups), where the key to recovery was always 2 main factors; clean house and faith in God. "Cleaning house" meant a thorough and honest personal inventory of inside as well as outside stuff.

The BKs were all about, well to put it in BK language, "merging it into a point". In particular, I remember a Senior Sister who gave morning class that just seemed to have toxic inner baggage. She looked OK on the outside but when she talked her tone and demeanor, as well as some health problems, just seemed to be the product of repressing all that toxic past stuff.

Something as simple as keeping a diary and writing in it at the end of the day about what has been happening, especially emotionally, has proven to be of tremendous benefit.
zhukov wrote:Dwelling on anything that is not POSITIVE will only bring down your 'stage' according to the BKs.
There is no doubt that this is true, in the short term, but sometimes we have to take a few steps backward before we are able to make some good progress forward.

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paulkershaw
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Post by paulkershaw » 28 May 2007

Healing! A great topic and one of my favorite 'processes' to work with.

I am realising more and more that virtually every human being needs 'healing' on some level. However, as an individual we need to realise for one-self exactly what 'healing' means to one and also learn to put into place an 'internal system' for oneself that will allow us to move into higher realisation ...

With the BKWSU teaching us that one is a master soul and is effectively' better' than anyone else not in the system. One cannot even begin to recognise the need within 'to heal' and so the ego becomes a weapon against this process. So many people within the BK system are supposedly 'suffering' with the conflicting ideals of needing to 'heal' and being better than the 'shudras' - so one is then left wide open to accept anything one is told as one will be subconciously not wanting to 'suffer'.

And then we are told to blame our 'sanskaras' for this discrepancy.

Whooooaaaaa ...

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