The ex-BK 12 Step Plan

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The ex-BK 12 Step Plan

Post by fluffy bunny » 04 Jul 2006

I was playing around with the idea of making a parody of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Step plan but I ended up with something that might be frightening serious ;

STEP#1: "We admitted we were powerless over God and the Senior Sisters -- that our lives had become unmanageable."

STEP#2: "Came to believe that a Power within ourselves could restore us to sanity."

STEP#3: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives back to our own personal care as we understood ourself to be."

STEP#4: "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of the BKWSU."

STEP#5: "Admitted to ourselves, and to another human beings the exact nature of BapDada and the BKWSU's wrongs."

STEP#6: "Were entirely ready to remove all of BapDada and the BKWSU's defects from our character."

STEP#7: "Humbly thank ourselves for remove their shortcomings."

STEP#8: "Made a list of all persons we had converted to the BKWSU or used the teachings of the BKWSU to hurt and confuse and became willing to make amends to them all."

STEP#9: "Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

STEP#10: "Continued to take a personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

STEP#11: "Sought through word and activity to remove our conscious contact with BapDada as the BKWSU using our own power to carry that out."

STEP#12: "Having become human again as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other BKs and ex-BKs and to practice these principles."

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Post by bro neo » 01 May 2007

Very well written. Don't forget step 0. Not commonly known but a prerequisite to the 12, it has fanominal importance. Step 0 in AA or NA is understanding the nature of the Disease of Addiction. I'll leave the rewording of step 0 to this set of steps to you ex-l but I would imagine it would be something like, "Understood what addiction to God and the Seniors are and how we, on a personal level, were addicted."

Once you have a wording for step 0 that you are satisfied with ex-l, I would like to work these steps as you’ve written them with my own personal experience to show their practical application. Others might do the same.

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Post by fluffy bunny » 01 May 2007

One of our supporters wrote this, referenced elsewhere, click the link; Sex, Drugs, and Cults.

An evolutionary psychology perspective on why and how cult memes get a drug-like hold on people, and what might be done to mitigate the effects by H. Keith Henson.

Please fill in the zero space. It is probably worth of a mention in the Encyclopedia section if you think it is that apt.

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Post by bro neo » 01 May 2007

Lovely article. Don’t have the brain capacity to go over it today though. I’m doing a fruit juice fast, but will definitely get back to it.

The wording of step 0 by the AA big book group is “Step 0. If...you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.”

That’s not exactly how I learned it. The above is also a quote from the main book of AA. To summarize it basically means, we in AA have been able to get sober and be happy and were once alcoholic, if you want this life to then you must be willing to go to any lengths and do anything to achieve it. Only this level of compliance and surrender will do.

Ha, ha, sounds horrid to someone who has developed a powerfully analytical and skeptical intellect after Gyan. It also sounds a lot like another meme. 12 step groups have been called cults, however, like all memes, there is some truth and power in it. That’s what attracts and captivates people’s intellects in the first place. The whole neurological and emotional attraction and developing dependence can be other things.

For our purposes, I propose that the step 0 for these steps be “ If you want an end to the turmoil BKWSU has over your life, past, present and future, and be happy, joyest, free, and peaceful instead then take these steps. Take them whole heartedly, fearlessly without any reservation and as vigorously honest as you can.”

I am currently working on another set of steps for my own major problem now. I have this horrible depressing apathy about life. It is because I can’t intellectualize a spiritual purpose for life. A purpose that religions and spiritual beliefs define for people. Anyways as I work on that I will work with this one as well.

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Post by bro neo » 01 May 2007

Oh yeah, don't forget step 13. :lol:

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Post by bro neo » 01 May 2007

Step 0

"If you want an end to the turmoil BKWSU has over your life, past, present and future, and be happy, joyest, free, and peaceful instead then take these steps. Take them whole heartedly, fearlessly without any reservation and as vigorously honest as you can."

OK this is a no brainer. YES, OK.

But the deeper meaning behind this is understanding the nature of the 'disease' (the problem is called a spiritual or mental disease because it is progressive and can be fatal). In this case the disease is obsession and compulsions in relation to our relationship with God and Senior Sisters.

To work a step, at least in part, means to write out what the step means to you and to give your personal interpretation of the step in relation to your life. Hearing other people’s step work is of great benefit as well, so please share yours here, if you feel like doing it.

Now since God is mentioned and not Shiva Baba or Bap Dada, I will take it to mean our relationship with our concept of God as well as the concept of God that we accepted from the BKWSU.

Now the two symptoms of this disease are obsessions and compulsions. Definitions courtesy of the American Heritage Dictionary.

Obsessions:
  • 1. Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
    2. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.
Compulsion:
  • 1.
    • a. The act of compelling.
      b. The state of being compelled.
    2.
    • a. An irresistible impulse to act, regardless of the rationality of the motivation: "The compulsion to protect the powerful from the discomfort of public disclosure feeds further abuse and neglect" (Boston Globe).
      b. An act or acts performed in response to such an impulse.
The disease in relation to God is we obsess about God and then we are compelled to act in relation to our obsession regardless of the consequences. For SS just substitute the word.

My personal step 0 is as follow:

I was lost in life. I had a near death experience where I touched a dimension of reality that was spiritual and sought God and became a slave to my obsession with God since that night. I was very susceptible and indiscriminate about all the different concepts of God I encountered. Finally one seemed very valid and said to abandon all other concepts. I did so as I believed This concept of God as given by the BKWSU. I gave up all my life up till that point and did everything and anything to please God including abandoning all concepts and truths that I had before.

Finally when I decided the BKWSU might be flawed in some way, I left, disappeared for fear that the God of the BKWSU might be real. I broke all my BK ties, and even left the country for a period. Once again I sought out a new life. This consequenced me in financial hell. After the initial vacation I was in huge financial difficulty due to my wanting to be so distant from the God I once surrendered to.

Now I have no God. God maybe or may not be. There may be a higher part of me which is God. I don't know. This not knowing of God is now my burden. I makes my life unmanageable now.

In regards to the Senior Sisters. I did as God ordained, and I related and relate to them as part of the BKWSU. It made my life less manageable when I was in the BKWSU, but I was not dominated by them. I took to taking my own interpretation of the Murlis and it was Gyan that dominated my soul.

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ex-BK 12 Step Charter

Post by fluffy bunny » 01 May 2007

Thank you for drawing my attention back to this. I took the opportunity to update and develop it and offer it for peer review. Perhaps it is almost ready to be adopted as our charter?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

STEP#0: "If you want an end to the turmoil BKWSU has created within your life, past, present and future, to be happy, joyful, free and peaceful instead; then take these steps. Take them whole heartedly, fearlessly, without any reservation and as vigorously honest as you can."

STEP#1: "We admit we were powerless over BapDada and the Senior Sisters and that our lives had become unmanageable."

STEP#2: "We came to believe that only a Power within ourselves could restore us to sanity."

STEP#3: "We make a decision to turn our will and our lives back to our own personal care as we understand ourself to be."

STEP#4: "We make a searching and fearless moral inventory of the BKWSU and our own behavior as a BK."

STEP#5: "We admit to ourselves, and to another human beings the exact nature of BapDada and the BKWSU's wrongs."

STEP#6: "We are entirely ready to remove all of BapDada and the BKWSU's defects from our character."

STEP#7: "We humbly thank ourselves for remove their shortcomings."

STEP#8: "We make a list of all persons we had converted to the BKWSU or used the teachings of the BKWSU to hurt or confuse and became willing to make amends to them all."

STEP#9: "We make direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

STEP#10: "We continue to take a personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it."

STEP#11: "We seek through word and activity to remove our conscious contact with BapDada and the BKWSU using our own power to carry that out."

STEP#12: "Having become a human being again as the result of these steps, we carry this message to other BKs and ex-BKs and to practice these principles."

STEP#13: "There is no step 13."

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Re: ex-BK 12 Step Charter

Post by proy » 02 May 2007

ex-l wrote:STEP#11: "We seek through word and activity to remove our conscious contact with BapDada and the BKWSU using our own power to carry that out."
As you know I have used this 12 step process to de-program myself from my time as a BK.

Steps were mostly facilitated by this forum.

Step 11 is about completed, but I think I also removed the unconscious connection.
ex-l wrote:STEP#12: "Having become a human being again as the result of these steps, we carry this message to other BKs and ex-BKs and to practice these principles."
This is what I am doing now. Again, thanks to this forum.
ex-l wrote:STEP#13: "There is no step 13."
Agreed.

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ex-BK 12 Step Charter v1.3

Post by fluffy bunny » 02 May 2007

OK. Good comment Proy. How about using the word connections instead of contact too? See STEP#11 below;
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

STEP#0: "If you want an end to the turmoil BKWSU has created within your life, past, present and future, to be happy, joyful, free and peaceful instead; then take these steps. Take them whole heartedly, fearlessly, without any reservation and as vigorously honest as you can."

STEP#1: "We admit we were powerless over BapDada and the Senior Sisters and that our lives had become unmanageable."

STEP#2: "We came to believe that only a Power within ourselves could restore us to sanity."

STEP#3: "We make a decision to turn our will and our lives back to our own personal care as we understand ourself to be."

STEP#4: "We make a searching and fearless moral inventory of the BKWSU and our own behavior as a BK."

STEP#5: "We admit to ourselves, and to another human beings the exact nature of BapDada and the BKWSU's wrongs."

STEP#6: "We are entirely ready to remove all of BapDada and the BKWSU's defects from our character."

STEP#7: "We humbly thank ourselves for remove their shortcomings."

STEP#8: "We make a list of all persons we had converted to the BKWSU or used the teachings of the BKWSU to hurt or confuse and became willing to make amends to them all."

STEP#9: "We make direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

STEP#10: "We continue to take a personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it."

STEP#11: "We seek through thought, word and activity to remove our conscious and unconscious connections with BapDada and the BKWSU using our own power to carry that out."

STEP#12: "Having become a human being again as the result of these steps, we carry this message to other BKs and ex-BKs and to practice these principles."

STEP#13: "There is no step 13."

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Post by bro neo » 02 May 2007

Co-dependents anonymous is a 12 step group for people who have addiction to other people. But when you go to the deeper definition of co-dependency, the dependency-addiction goes far beyond just simply addiction to people. Co-dependency is best described as a condition that people have where they are dependent on someone or something else and this dependency causes progressive unmanageability. This can mean shopping, food, people, sex, drugs, and yes God as well.

STEP#1: "We admitted we were powerless over BapDada and the Senior Sisters and that our lives had become unmanageable."

Key concepts to understand and personalize in this step are

Acceptance
Powerlessness
Addiction to Bap-Dada and SS (The Disease)
Unmanageability


Acceptance is the key.

“Hello, I’m neo, and I’m a Bap-Dada and SS addict.”

This first admission which is standard protocol at 12 step meetings signifies taking the first step. An admission that we were addicted and that our lives had become unmanageable. Without acceptance their can be no healing. It is important to know that acceptance is not just an intellectual concept, nor is it just an action. It is more complex then that. It also reminds us to be weary, for a relapse is just a meme away.

Powerlessness is another key concept of this step. It implies that we HAD no power over our addiction. That in one or more ways, it owned us.

I don’t want to think of them, and yet I do. I want to forget, and yet I can’t. I want their apology, and get nothing. Without them I may feel lost, I may lack motivation, I may be depressed, and yet, I don’t want this. These are aspects of powerlessness.

Addiction to Bap-Dada and SS is: how I personally obsessed over them and then acted compulsively. The addiction cycle is as follows, negative feeling-obsessions-ritualization-compulsion- and then back to negative feelings. For the sake of simplicity we can say that negative feelings make us obsess about our drug of choice and then we put the obsession into action and once we start we can’t stop. And we just act out (the equivalent to taking a drug for a drug addict) to the point of oblivion. One is to many and a thousand not enough.

Umanigability is the main characteristic that separates a healthy habit from an addiction. How did this obsession-compulsion cause adverse and negative effects in my life. How was it progressive.

My personal step 0 is as follows:

Acceptance: I admit to you, myself and to the world that I was a Bap-Dada and SS addict. I feel the physical and emotional experience totally, as long as I need to.

Powerlessness: On first contact with Raja Yoga it became the focal point of my thoughts and feeling. It became my obsession. I saw it as my Panacea. The obsession over took and rationalized them selves to me. I sought evidence and proff to prove it to be real, although it was all theoretical and from other people.

Addiction to Bap-Dada and SS (The Disease): From the moment I joined, I saw them as higher beings. I sought to please them, serve them, learn and be one of them. I was their martyr. It was horrible at first as I would feel like an outsider to them and have such grief and emotional pain. I also left all my Lokik relationships.

Unmanageability: I stopped taking care of myself in the best way possible. I had learned some very good practices and lifestyle habits before Raja Yoga but one day during Morning Class I heard the Murli point “Throw away all your other books.”, and so I did. I took care of me as they told me too. In turn I suffered financially and lost many worldly opportunities with work and education. In the end it also resulted in a lot of emotional, mental and social turmoil.

In regards to step 13. There is one :) and I am sure your all gona love it.

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Re: ex-BK 12 Step Charter v1.3

Post by joel » 02 May 2007

ex-l wrote:STEP#0: "If you want an end to the turmoil BKWSU has created within your life, past, present and future, to be happy, joyful, free and peaceful instead; then take these steps. Take them whole heartedly, fearlessly, without any reservation and as vigorously honest as you can."
[...]
STEP#13: "There is no step 13."
Hmmm. Would you be available to conduct some prayer meetings for Ex-BKs?? I am sorry that there will be no honorarium.

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12 step

Post by proy » 03 May 2007

Hi, My name is proy, and I am a babaholic.
bro neo wrote:In regards to step 13. There is one :) and I am sure your all gona love it.
Tell me, tell me, :D.

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Post by bro neo » 03 May 2007

Step 13 :) I wanted to save the best for last. But ... do ya'all really wana know now? :D

And prayer meeting? What did you have in mind joel?

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Post by paulkershaw » 03 May 2007

bro neo wrote:Step 13 :) I wanted to save the best for last. But ... do ya'all really wana know now? :D
And we wait and wait with baited breath - get on with it wouldya! Helloooooooo ...

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Post by bro neo » 03 May 2007

OK, Y’all asked 4 it ... Step 13

The steps are meant to be taken in order. They loose effectiveness greatly if not done so. Of course this does not mean we should stay on one particular step until we, or our sponsor tells us (more about sponsors latter), to move on to the next step.

You can take 5-10 minutes on each step and get to step 12 in about an hour. This is very beneficial. The steps are made to be a life long journey. When we finish step 12 we go back to step 0 and start the whole process again.

Each time will be different and it will reveal different insights. Idealy we do all the steps in an hour and then also do a thorough journey through the steps on our own time and with a sponsor. Then when the topic of a certain step comes up, say at a meeting for example, we can share our experience strength and hope for that step as well as go deeper into it.
  • Step 13 is the exception. We can do it even if we've not done a single step.
    Step 13 is not meant for people in 12 step groups, yet it can only be done by a 12 stepper.
    Step 13 is frowned upon by 12 step groups and all members are encouraged to stay away from it. But, Step 13 is the most rewarding (short term) of all the steps..
I have never done a 13 Step, I was too much of a recovery perfectionist. I had my chances, but instead went to another 12 Step group to deal with my not doing it.

Let me tell you what 12 stepping someone means, then I will let the cat out of the bag. If you are called to 12 Step someone it means you introduce the concept of recovery, group and recovered to someone who is suffering from the disease (as defined by the 1st step). So what does it mean to 13 step someone?

Step 13 "We ***** a new comer (or vulnerable member) of the group".

To copulate with some helpless suffering little potential 12 stepper is very easy to do and very, very, very tempting, because when someone is at their bottom they are just dying for a savior. Having knowledge and experience with the steps and group you are that savior. A savior that could do anything he/she wants to the helpless victim. The 12 Steps are meant to be the savior not our *****. Hmm, after reading all the stuff from this site it sounds like the BKs are avid 13 steppers, except that they have a different definition of ****.

But, for our purposes and since there are such drastic differences between our steps and traditional 12 Steps ... maybe we should honor the 13th step with this wording, "We ****** a BK".

ex-l your wording please.

My personal Step 0 is as follows: Haven't done it, yet.

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