Alone

for concern over cult-related damage, institutional abuse & psychological problems.
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mr green
ex-BK
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Alone

Post by mr green » 09 Aug 2007

Not as often as before but I still do become overcome with suicidal feelings, today I am awash with it ... thanks Baba, thanks Jayanti, thanks Dadi, thanks to all the other people who TOTALLY misguided my life then refused to help me in any tiny way.

If I ever do take my life, I want you to know (although I realise it is impossible for you to understand the concept of anything outside your walls) that you were truly instrumental in making my life very difficult ... I gave you everything, you left me with nothing.

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john
Reforming BK
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Location: UK

Post by john » 09 Aug 2007

Mr Green
There's always a way, your way!
Don't give up.

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mr green
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Post by mr green » 09 Aug 2007

I am still alive and ready to kick ass.

Thanks John.

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jannisder
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Post by jannisder » 09 Aug 2007

I did not even fully join the BKWSU and they ******* up my life completely.

Changing me from a pretty carefree person with peace of mind into a hateful miserable being, and also ever so ready to kick ass, and hard!!!!

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alladin
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loving oneself

Post by alladin » 10 Aug 2007

No, I would never give "them" the pleasure to spoil my mood! I wasted enough time in my life associating my self to the BK, and I wasn't even that committed in service!! So, now let's try and make the best out of it!! We don't need no more trouble!!
Bob Marley & The Wailers - No More Trouble

(We don't need) No, we don't need
(no more trouble) no more trouble!
(We don't need no more trouble)

(We don't need no more trouble)
Make love and not war!
'Cause we don't need no trouble.
What we need is love (love)
To guide and protect us on. (on)
If you hope good down from above, (love)
Help the weak if you are strong now. (love)

We don't need no trouble;
What we need is love. Oh, no!
We don't need - we don't need - no more trouble!
Lord knows, we don't need no trouble!

Seek happiness! Oh, ...!
Come on, you all and speak of love. Oh, yeah!

We don't need - we don't need no more - we don't need
No more trouble - we don't need no more trouble!
Trouble we don't need (we don't need),
(We don't need) Lord, knows!
We don't need no more war (no more trouble).
No more trouble - we don't need no more - more trouble!

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in the night
Not sure
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Joined: 20 May 2007
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Post by in the night » 10 Aug 2007

I wonder why so many of us are sometimes under the emotions of letting go of life ... and don't have the courage to touch the subject. I think it´s a common thing that happens to most human beings, but so taboo to speak out ... very courageous Mr Green!! 8).

LIFE IS PRECIOUS

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seva
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Together we are not Alone

Post by seva » 10 Aug 2007

Image

Take my hand,
I'll take yours,
Together we won't be afraid.

Take my hand,
I'll take yours,
Together we will have courage.

Take my hand,
I need yours,
Together we are not Alone ...
:-)

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jannisder
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Post by jannisder » 10 Aug 2007

Hope the BKWSU can learn something from that!!!

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bansy
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Post by bansy » 10 Aug 2007

mr green.

You hang on in there. You're better than this.

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mr green
ex-BK
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Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK

Post by mr green » 14 Aug 2007

I am going to attempt to not come here anymore again.

I don't seem to be able to bring anything constructive to the site anymore,

I just want to be able to smile a bit for the rest of my days, hope I haven't annoyed you all too much.

Best of luck :wink:

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abrahma kumar
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They think that your pride is gone... but oh no!

Post by abrahma kumar » 14 Aug 2007

mr green wrote:I am going to attempt to not come here anymore again. I don't seem to be able to bring anything constructive to the site anymore. I just want to be able to smile a bit for the rest of my days. Hope I haven't annoyed you all too much best of luck
Although i have linked to the lyric somewhere else on the site, mr. green's post moved me to mangle the words and post the whole thing in quotes as i see some folk doing ;). Regard, respect and acknowledgement is given to mr. Labi Siffre who inspired but
did not sing:
The higher they build their barriers
The taller you become
The further they take your rights away
The faster you will learn to run
They can deny you
You can decide to turn your face away
No matter 'cause there's

Something inside so strong
We know that you can make it
Though they're doing you wrong, so wrong
They think that your pride is gone ... oh no
There's something inside so strong
Something inside so strong

The more they refuse to hear your voice
The louder we sing along with you
They hide behind walls of Jericho
Their lies will come tumbling down
They try to deny you your place in time
They squander wealth that's never theirs
Your light will shine so brightly it will blind them
Because there's

Something inside so strong
We know that you can make it
Though they've done you wrong, so wrong
They think that your pride is gone... oh no
There's something inside so strong
Something inside so strong

Brothers and sisters
When they insist we're just not good enough
Well, we know better
Just look 'em in the eyes and say
We're gonna do it anyway
We're gonna do it anyway
We're gonna do it anyway
We're gonna do it ANYWAY!

because there's

Something inside so strong
We all know that you can make it
Though they're doing you wrong, so wrong
They thought that your pride was gone... oh no
There's something inside so strong
Something inside so strong
Take care mr. green

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joel
ex-BK
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Joined: 01 May 2006
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Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: I was an active BK for 12 years. That was long ago. Now I am just a person.

Post by joel » 14 Aug 2007

mr green wrote:I am going to attempt to not come here anymore again. I don't seem to be able to bring anything constructive to the site anymore,
It's up to you, Mr. Green. If you ask me, you bring maturity, perspective, and penetrating insight.
I just want to be able to smile a bit for the rest of my days, hope I haven't annoyed you all too much. Best of luck :wink:
Annoyed us?? Your writings challenge and entertain us. You are way better company (and real, thank God) than I found among the BKs. If I lived in your area, I would surely visit you for a beer, a natter, a spliff, etc.

I encourage you to do whatever gives you a smile.

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alladin
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Post by alladin » 14 Aug 2007

True, what Joel said, and also Mr. Green, you have a very clear way to expound your ideas in writing, which is not a small thing!

Love and talk to you soon.

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paulkershaw
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Please give a short description of your interest in joining this forum.: I am an ex-teacher and member of the BKWSU and my interest lies in assisting those who request support on any level I can.
Location: South Africa

Post by paulkershaw » 15 Aug 2007

mr green wrote:I am going to attempt to not come here anymore again. I don't seem to be able to bring anything constructive to the site anymore, I just want to be able to smile a bit for the rest of my days, hope I haven't annoyed you all too much.
Hey You, :mrgreen:, get right back on that keyboard and start typing - My days not the same if I haven't read your posts. Hey, even I've been a little too busy to be here every day but a little visit to your forum pals now and again would lighten up a heart or two no end, so please stay close by if ya can.

Do you need some chocolate as a bribe?

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mr green
ex-BK
Posts: 1100
Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Affinity to the BKWSU: ex-BK

Post by mr green » 15 Aug 2007

You folks are very sweet and a tonic for the upheaval I am experiencing. I have never wanted more to end my life than right now, I hate writing this as I do not want sympathy, I hate it ... but I am scared. I nearly did it last night, I haven't done anything like that for a long time.

I really do need some friends, I am the true billy no mates :lol: I go to the pub on my own I smoke spliff on my own ... after leaving Gyan (could be 4 maybe 5 years now) I have been unable to heal the wounds I gained there and also unable to reintegrate into any social situation ... I simply don't know what to do, it's awful

I am actually considering going to the gp to see if I can get some happy pills, something I've tried very hard not to do ...

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